I don't blog much lately. Foster care is messy. I often have really big emotions and I feel like that is often coupled with a really small audience of interest. It's so messy. Then there is also the need to keep details confidential, so what can I really write about other than "it is hard some days"?
Our current placement has actually been much easier than the last one. But today was an emotional day. We've been waiting on Mom to make some choices and today was a big day. And she didn't follow through with what she needed to do.
Unless something else big happens in the next couple days, some big, important doors are going to be closed and her parental rights are going to be terminated this spring. We are open to adopting her daughter and providing her with a forever home, so, you might think I would be overjoyed that she is not making the progress she needs. I even thought I might be excited to hear that she hadn't followed through with this big step today.
But, I wasn't. I got the text from the case manager and my heart sank. I ended up sending Mom a text, hoping to encourage her to take a step forward. A step that could help her re-gain custody of her daughter, even though I question if that is the best thing. But encouraging Mom to take a step forward is the right thing and the best thing. Mom didn't reply to my text.
Days like this make me question lots of things. We are not in the business of trying to take people's kids from them. We are trying to provide a safe, loving home while parents figure some stuff out. But there are so many parents out there who aren't able to figure stuff out.
We are required to do roughly 1 million (or just 32) continuing education training hours per year. I am constantly reading about helping kids from traumatic situations and also about what leads adults to drug addiction. A big factor is a lack of community and connection. How did we (as a society) get here? And how do we overcome it? Here is a good article about addiction. I don't have any answers, just a lot of heartbreak. There are also articles like this one "Colorado desperately seeking foster parents."
Again, I don't have the answers. I just know that today was sad.
